Friday, August 7, 2015

New York Times Piece on Stillbirth Aug 2015

Perhaps you read Stillbirth: Your Stories in the New York Times last week. Perhaps you were brave enough to submit your story, your baby's photo. If so, I want to acknowledge your bravery and your willingness to share your story to help other families and to shine a light on stillbirth, which is too often relegated to the shadows and still considered taboo to discuss. I want to thank you for doing what seems to me to be a very difficult thing.

I was not brave. I contemplated  sharing Chiara's story. I kept the link to submit stories on my phone. I pondered what I would say, whether I would share the photo we have of her tiny feet in my hand. In the end, I could not. I am both sad and ashamed that I could not do this. It was too public an arena and I was not ready to share my private pain with the world.

But I read every story. I pored over every beautiful photo they published. I cried for you, for your beautiful babies, and for all that we all have lost. Thank you for sharing your babies with the world, for being honest about your pain, for putting real faces and names and caring suggestions out there for new families impacted by this loss. I am humbled by your accomplishment, this beautiful piece that will hopefully raise awareness so that we can start to decrease the number of babies lost to stillbirth, and ease the pain of families who suffer this terrible tragedy. Thank you.


  1. Thanks for your kind message on my blog. I do remember you and Chiara, of course, from several years back. I wasn't aware of the New York Times piece until I saw your post. I hope that instead of feeling sad and ashamed for not sharing Chiara's story these, you will be proud of the tribute you've made to her here. She is not forgotten! And I hope that sweet baby boy of yours is growing well and you're enjoying your pregnancy. I'm happy and relieved we've both made it past the scary milestone weeks where we experienced losses before!

  2. Hi Annie, I somehow missed your post back in August! Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate them. I so wanted to participate in the NYT story request, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was really conflicted. I do honor Chiara here, and I remember her every day, for sure.

    Congratulations on your new baby girl! Our son was born safely and we're soaking him in. He's almost 2 months old now.

    Lots of good wishes to you and your family!